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I close my eyes

I was just listening to motivational speaking and just that quickly I went into a deep dark moment In some one’s else though of death it was so dark and demonic all that I could do was to release it out of my mind, it was about someone being murdered and butchered to death I tend to not eat before rest and listen to calming beats, but this one happened so quickly it caught me by surprised. I have to be mindful as to where I lay my head, make it a rule of thumb to have my own pillows just for this reason. My dad was murdered back in 2004 over bad drug’s and another reason why I stopped using the drug dealer would ask me how was it and I would lie and say that it was gud, because my late dad went to the drug dealer and he killed my dad with a metal pipe, it broke my heart to see my dad who really wasn’t in my life always in prison back in New Jersey were I am Born and raised. I think about him most times when I think about my late aunt and uncle who are buried back home. I look like my dad and I used to act just like him, until I stopped running from my calling to be the great prophet and I thank my dad for not living in his life, he abused me and my mom mentally physically and I would always say that I would never be like him. I had to learn how to treat a woman the right way, my dad was never taught how to love, but God showed me the way, that I have to love myself first before I can love another beautiful being. Baby I love you too the moon and back again, she’s not here with me just yet but I am always praying for her and that we have a very open communication with each other I am going to love her, he that findeth a wife findeth favor I am a very spiritual being waiting on TMHGOD to place me in her path when it’s divine timing. Ok I am going to go back to rest in the higher realms of consciousness while listening to sum slow jam’s and yes I am a music buff I’d picked out music for our wedding, I am thinking about having sum artist sing for us my Abba in heaven has tons of spiritual money stored up for both of us.πŸ’žπŸ•ŠοΈπŸ•―οΈπŸ˜‡πŸ’πŸ™πŸŒΉ

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